As promised here's my little story about how I re-found my faith in the Universe last week at TK Maxx. So I'm in TK Maxx. I like to shop there sometimes because I figure it's kind of like the clothes version of the Island of Misfit Toys and I totally resonate with that. So anyway, I'm looking around and I see this t-shirt. It's white and a little sparkly so it catches my eye - "Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion" it says. I immediately love it, but it takes me a second before I realise it's actually a line from one of my all time favourite creepy time travel movies - Donnie Darko.
I'm moving house soon so I've been trying not to spend money on anything I don't truly need, but I tried it on anyway, took a photo of myself in the change room and posted it on social media (because that's what we do these days, crazy huh?). I was shopping on my own and it was like I needed some kind of validation from someone that it was OK if I got this shirt, even though I'm meant to be being frugal right now.
So I do the 'right thing' and I put it back on the hanger. Checking my iPhone in Waterstones while buying a copy of Clockwork Princess (OMG I LOVE THESE BOOKS!!) revealed that people liked it a lot and thought I should get it! That was enough validation for me. I was going to get the shirt because I loved it and maybe I could scrimp on something else this month. I mean I only spent £6 on a book (if you use click and collect at Waterstones you can save £2 on almost everything!!) I just needed to go and look in Lush first...
Suddenly I'm on the bus and I look out the window - Nooooooo! I forgot to go back for my shirt! I get on my phone and start Googling frantically to find it online. NOWHERE had it online. I get home, dump the shopping and run to the laptop, just in case something was up with my phone and I can buy it online on the LAPTOP! NOTHING!
I consider walking back into town. I consider getting up early to go back into town. I get totally sad about the shirt maybe not being there when I do get back into town and I'm like FREAKING OUT about nothing but a t-shirt... but I LOVED that t-shirt! How could I have been so stupid not to have just bloody bought it?
OK, so I finally calm down, I'm visualising light all around the shirt in the store (Yes, I realise this is sounding nuts) and I ask the angels to look after it for me. I ask them if this is my shirt please keep it safe for me.
I'm still kind of freaking out and I have this idea out of nowhere to use my necklace as a pendulum. I pull it off and I ask it for a positive and a negative.
Will my shirt be there tomorrow afternoon? YES.
Suddenly the freaked out energy lifted and I was like - Oh OK. It was like when you dread asking somebody for a favour or something and then you finally do it and they say - yes of course, don't be silly! And I managed to go back to my normal self and forget all about the shirt.
The next afternoon I'm storming through the mall to finally get my shirt! My thoughts are going crazy. I'm like - it's not going to be there. This is stupid. Don't get your hopes up. If it's there it's there. And then I'm like - no damnit, I did EVERYTHING right. I visualised, I dowsed, I talked to angels, this shirt HAS to be there!
So I go in and search the rack where it was. Nothing. Told you so, says the voice. This is stupid.
I search other random racks where I know it's not going to be. Now you are being really stupid. Get over it. It's just a shirt. What's wrong with you?
I search the first rack again. You already searched there. It's not here. Why would you even think it would be here anyway?
I feel totally deflated. Let down by the Universe YET AGAIN. Why does this always happen?! Why do other people manifest houses and millions of dollars and I can't even manifest a T-SHIRT?!
I walk over to the sale section in some kind of last ditch effort. Maybe someone put it there by mistake. It's not going to be there. That shirt was way too cool to be in the sale section.
And then I find it.
I'm looking right at it.
"Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion" it says with a sale tag dangling off the side.
And I'm staring at it. And it's like the Universe is winking at me, or grinning at me through this awesome turn of phrase on this t-shirt.
I've been working on manifesting a couple of really big things. I wrote a YA novel about time travel and I want to do this New Age Hipster gig and get paid for it. I've done the work and the visualisations and I know this is all going to happen one day. I know right now I'm just at that point somewhere between freaking out and finding the sale rack.
Love, light and good manifesting vibes,